For you

I rip my heart out
Gently laying it before you
You see it, you consider it, you even appreciate it
But you don't take it
You can't take it
Why can't you just take it.
It sits there, and I sit here
Hole in my chest
Heart on the ground
Torn from me,
By me
For you.

Reality

I want to be close

I need to be away

but every time I see her

I think too hard

about everything

but nothing will ever happen because I am me

everyone knows who I am, what I am

and I know nothing will ever happen

Realistic thinking keeps me bordering on insanity

with optimism and pessimism deep in that hell
Will I ever ascend this?
I won't

Ruin

There are times I wish I was the son of ruin
I would gain energy from my scars
and become something more than myself
I would burn and be burned
I could sacrifice myself
I could level a city
Like a soda can shaken up
I need to explode.

Plead.

I hurt because of the choices that you have made
I hurt because the sadness that you feel
If you will ever need help, I will always be here
Always.
But I cannot do anything until you help yourself
I know it hurts you
It hurts me too
Can you try?
Or have you crushed yourself?
Can I help?
Or do you not care enough.
It hurts.

Sanctity

I cannot go back.
I cannot show my face there.
Could I hide?
Find a small hole where no one will find me?
Could I leave?
Forsake all I have ever known for what?
For hope?
I hope to find a place
Where I belong

To think

I think
I scold myself for thinking
I scream myself sore for doing it
I hate it when I think
Feeling pain without ceasing
Killing thoughts is easy
but they still come back
Just as vibrant as the time before
Killing them over again
and hoping for it to stop

Problems

I keep it inside
All of it
It bleeds and batters against my soul
Pressing to get out
I cage it
Compress it
And leave it for another day, another week, another month
I keep it inside
And it hurts my soul
Scarring it
Numbing it
And killing it